Warning: Contains mildly disturbing but hilarious content.
Many years ago on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date story. This was the story that won:
It was winter. The guy had taken her skiing up north. They had lots of fun and were about to head home. They were driving down the mountain when she realized she shouldn't have had that extra hot chocolate. They were an hours away from the closest rest room. She couldn't hold it any longer and told him to stop the car so she could go in the bushes, or it would be the front seat of his car. He stopped and she got off and crouched beside the car, and yanked her pants down. (You can already tell how bad this is going to get.) The deep snow was slippery so she let her *ahem* butt rest against the car to steady herself. Upon finishing, she became aware of another sensation. Her body heat had glued her butt against the car. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles came to her mind as she struggled. Horrified and laughing, she heard her date ask "What's taking so long?" as she replied "Nothing. Just freezing my butt off." She yelled for his help and he came around the car as she covered herself with her sweater. He burst out laughing. Finally, they both agreed they needed something hot to free her butt from the cold metal. They realized the only thing that got her into this situation, was the same thing that would set her free. She looked the other way as her first date unzipped his pants to pee her butt off the metal.
This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off." How did the rest of the relationship turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her in the audience.
Many years ago on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date story. This was the story that won:
It was winter. The guy had taken her skiing up north. They had lots of fun and were about to head home. They were driving down the mountain when she realized she shouldn't have had that extra hot chocolate. They were an hours away from the closest rest room. She couldn't hold it any longer and told him to stop the car so she could go in the bushes, or it would be the front seat of his car. He stopped and she got off and crouched beside the car, and yanked her pants down. (You can already tell how bad this is going to get.) The deep snow was slippery so she let her *ahem* butt rest against the car to steady herself. Upon finishing, she became aware of another sensation. Her body heat had glued her butt against the car. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles came to her mind as she struggled. Horrified and laughing, she heard her date ask "What's taking so long?" as she replied "Nothing. Just freezing my butt off." She yelled for his help and he came around the car as she covered herself with her sweater. He burst out laughing. Finally, they both agreed they needed something hot to free her butt from the cold metal. They realized the only thing that got her into this situation, was the same thing that would set her free. She looked the other way as her first date unzipped his pants to pee her butt off the metal.
This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off." How did the rest of the relationship turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her in the audience.
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